Peeling the onion that is ElderCare

I have been thrown into the wide world of wading through all of the information we need to have/understand in order to help our aging parents...and all I can liken it to is an onion.  The more I look at just a handful of websites I have found regarding the subject, the more I feel like I am just beginning to peel back the many layers of an onion.  It's almost overwhelming.
 
Felipe and his brother and sisters are all of a sudden faced with the reality of having to explore what option is next for their Mom.  Assisted Living?  In home care?  Moving her in with one of the kids?  It's amazing how many myths (or more appropriately, facts) we as children don't know.  For instance:  knowing the difference between Medicare (don't even start bringing up Medicare A, B, or C) and MediCal/MedicAid.  Distinguishing between Nursing Home care and Assisted Living care....and who will/can help pay for it?  ADLs....Activities of Daily Living and their importance.  How do families cover the cost of elder care?  And then I have to start thinking about myself:  can I afford Long Term Care insurance right now?  Is it worth the additional expense to my current list of expenses?  The answer to the last question, given what I have experienced with Felipe's Mom, is a resounding yes and something I better figure out how to afford. 
 
While I am not happy that we are having to explore all of this for Felipe's mom, it sure is an eye-opening experience for us both and something I am so fortunate to have the chance to do at my "leisure" versus having to do it "in the moment."  Frankly, I'm not sure how families would deal with all of this on the spot because of the amount of information and unknowns that exist with all of this. 
 
The best websites I have found so far to help navigate this process are AgingParents.com and Caring.com.  Both have some valuable information.  I especially enjoyed the podcasts on the first website that cover a wide variety of topics.  The other surprisingly helpful website is the State of California's website dealing specifically with insurance.  As I have started learning more about the importance of biting the bullet to invest in long term care insurance for myself, there is some great information on the State's website regarding what to consider.
 
Know that I welcome any and all suggestions from anyone.

Getting older

I think it's such a strange thing that when I was growing up there was not much more that I wanted than to be older.  Maybe it was the older sister I had or the fact that, no matter my age, there was always somebody older than me and I thought the grass was greener on their side of the fence.  That last thought is funny because as I approach my 42nd birthday (42!!), I was reminded by a 76 year old friend last night that I'm still a young chicken.

So, now that I am getting older it also means that so is everyone else around me and I am more and more aware of how short our time is on this crazy Earth.  I was very moved by the passing this past week of Elizabeth Edwards and the coverage of her funeral services yesterday.  I couldn't help but, like many of us, think about her children and what a tremendous loss they have just experienced.  This year of 2010 has also been especially difficult in my own little world with all of the health scares and tough situations we have faced in our families.  It's hard not to let myself start believing this is what getting older is about....watching the decline of others and worrying more and more about who is next?  Again, not an all consuming set of thoughts, but certainly more prevalent in these past months than ever before in my 42 years.

But, getting older also brings many good things:  confidence, a sense of purpose, wisdom, and an appreciation of life and those with whom I am lucky enough to share it.  Those silly thoughts of invincibility and not having to be super-accountable in my earlier days almost seems like a different life to me.  And, yet, it was my life a few short years ago and not so long ago that I don't remember it.  I would like to believe that I HAVE gained some wisdom over the years and have learned so much about what life can offer.  Never before have the words "Live every day like it's your last" made so much sense to me as it does lately.

Feeling content

As I sit here waiting for Felipe, his sister and her partner to arrive, I can't help but to feel this sense of contentment.  It's been a wild last couple of months, but it's always nice to have this chance to just sit and reflect on things.  Spent most of today doing yard work and errands and just showered (it's about 3:15 right now!) so I could sit down with the ol' laptop, a good cup of tea, and have a few more minutes of relaxation before the gang arrives.  It doesn't hurt that it's about 72 degrees, the sun is shining, and the doors and windows are open.  THIS is why I live here.

So my question to ponder today is how to have this kind of day be the more prevalent kind of day than the rat race kind of days we usually experience?  Does meditation provide that to folks?  In all honesty, my days are pretty mellow (see an earlier post about moving my office location to a more remote part of the building), but there is always the constant e-mail and telephone interruptions.  I have actually been feeling really good about work these days and really taking stock of how much my students appreciate me and how proud I am of the work that I do. 

I hope you are having a good day, too, and will share what you do to bring yourself to a "happy place."