ADD, the 21st century, or Gen X?

By now, you know I think alot about work....and I think too much about work during my commute.  Tonight, I was driving home wondering how several generations of folks before mine ever endured holding one...maaayyyyyybee...two jobs in their entire lifetime?  In my short professional life of just over 20 years, I have held more jobs at more places than I care to remember.  Sure, they have usually been within my chosen professional field, but why so many?  When I started thinking about my friends, save one or two, we are all in the same boat....seemingly transient workers willing to pick up and move on the drop of a dime.  Even in today's economy, I find myself wondering if the grass is greener someplace else? 

Lately, it also feels like I spend a significant amount of time wondering if I work to live or live to work?  Perhaps it is my advancing age/wisdom/experience or maybe it is my ADD that sometimes makes me wonder why we spend the vast majority of our lives working.  I, for one, am not fortunate enough to find myself with excessive amounts of money left over each pay period after paying all those pesky bills, utilities, mortgage, etc., and wonder when that time will come?  Until it does, how do I keep myself rejuvenated in the work I do to have it mean more to me than just a way to keep a roof over my head, my dogs fed, and the occasional little prezzy I might give myself?  Is the satisfaction I try to find in my work each and every day enough to fend off the urge to bolt?

Lastly, I think about 2 individuals a lot:  a recent college grad who I admire greatly and recently spent some time with and a friend from college who has worked for the same place for over 20 years.  The recent college grad described her current job as something she doesn't really enjoy but decent enough with bennys and perks to keep her there.  It ain't her dream job, but it meets her needs for now.  Why can't she be doing what she REALLLY wants to be doing and what do I have to complain about when I, ostensibly, AM doing what I really want to be doing?  Then, my college pal:  how in the world does she keep her work....after 20+ years...fresh?  Sure she has been promoted and experienced growth within the organization, but I can't imagine what it must be like to work for the same place for more than about 5 years.  My record:  6 years. 

Will I miss working when retirement comes around?  What do folks who live in countries where work is not central to their everyday way of life experience day in and day out?  How can I rejuvenate myself rather than letting my Gen X side take over by telling me I need to make a change?   Why DO we work so hard and is it truly the great American characteristic we were all taught to strive for as kids growing up?

Anti-social or reflective?

If someone spends less time talking and more time just listening and being, does that make them anti-social or some kind of a social moron?  Take right this moment for example:  my partner and I are sitting 5 feet apart from one another and haven't said a word to each other for the last 20 minutes.  Could be the crazy last couple of days around our house with family visiting (GREAT VISIT by the way) or the fact that we are both tired beyond belief (don't ask about the pugs...they are O-U-T!).  But, we often have evenings like this.  I always laugh, too, when we are on a roadtrip and can drive for hours without saying one word to each other.  I guess we just enjoy each other's company enough to realize idle chatter isn't necessary.

I was also surprised by the reaction I have received now that my office is completely separated from the rest of the staff...by my choice.  I have been questioned about being lonely, exclusive, anti-social, and crazy.  Me?  I believe I have found Nirvana in my little corner of the world and absolutely love the solitude I have during 75% of my day.  Is that strange?  I guess I've always considered myself a "thinker" and someone who needs some quiet time to recharge my batteries.  Never have understood those that need constant activity or noise around them.  Reading with earphones on?  Impossible.  Sleeping with the TV on?  Could never do it.  Talking while I exercise?  Not unless I'm calling for the paramedics.

In this world of overstimulation, I wonder if I'm alone in feeling this way about interaction?  I have always considered myself an extrovert, but I guess I have a strong introverted side of me creeping out more and more the older I get.....and I love it.

Human Decency: Does it still exist?

Hi all:  Thanks for the great comments on my first posting.  Love hearing everyone's thoughts and perspective.  Back when we lived in Seattle, we occasionally held "Salons" at our house where groups of our friends would get together and have...what?....face to face dialogue about whatever topic we chose to discuss. Unfortunately, most of the people who would show up had similar viewpoints, but I remember a couple of doozy discussion items that really allowed for some great conversation. I miss those days and guess this will have to do for now.  Not that we can't host them again....in fact, trying to figure out how and when to do one here on the face of the sun.  But, I digress....

Not sure about you, but my short 20 minute commute to and from work tends to be the time when I think the most about what will today bring (in the morning) and what the heck did I just experience (in the evening)?  Tonight, I was driving home having just had a really irritating interaction with someone from, lets say, a younger generation.  (Did I REALLY just say that?  What am I?  90?)  While I chalk her comment up to having a bit to do with the frustration she is experiencing right now, I couldn't help but realize I am finally experiencing the generational differences we all experience as we grow older.  Funny thing is, it's we "older folk" who seem the most aware of it while the young stuff just carry on their merry way.  I know when I was her age (wow, again, sounding like Father Time), I was probably completely unaware of how I was interacting and what impression I was making on those around me much like I believe she did today.  Her comment really sparked today's topic:  Human Decency and whether or not it still exists?

While trying to assist her with how to resolve her problem by calling a Help Line, she glared over the top of her open laptop computer, rolled her eyes (Oh No She Didn't!), and said, "I don't have time for that.  I work and go to school, ya know."   I took a breath, counted to 10 (ok, maybe it was 3), and asked, "You don't have 5 minutes in your busy life to call a 24/7 help line?"  I guess I was speaking Latin at that point because this vapid look appeared on her face and it became increasingly clear: the conversation was over. 

Now, my thoughts on my drive home included:  What part of "I'm trying to help you" didn't she get?  Is she really THAT busy that finding 5 minutes is truly impossible given the help line is 24/7?  How did I manage to commute for 3 hours one time per week, complete graduate school, work full time, and maintain a social life and she can't manage a 5 minute phone call to HELP HERSELF?  And finally, the ultimate question for myself was, "Where is the human decency?"  All it took was, "Thanks, Don, I'll give it a try" or even a simple Thanks.  Just seems odd and I wonder if her generation really doesn't understand the concept of appreciation?  Is it her age (early 20s)?  Was it the frustration getting the best of her?  Or, am I just becoming the old dude on the verge of saying "In my day....."

Honesty and White Lies

Why do humans seem to find it difficult to tell the truth and/or own up to reality?  One of the most vivid lessons I remember as a kid was learning the difference between white lies...you know, those little fibs that the fibber doesn't think will create hard feelings...and full-on dishonesty.  Is a white lie ok to tell if one believes it saves face for either themself or the person being lied to at the moment?  I don't get it. 

Going one step further:  why is it hard to accept responsibility, ask forgiveness (when appropriate) and then move on?  Why does it seem we are so inclined to "suck it up" when we are angry, hurt, whatever about something rather than to speak our minds which usually involves telling the truth?  When was the last time you second-guessed speaking the truth because you thought it might cost you your job?  A friendship?  A sale?  Offending a family member/friend?  Sadly to say, it happened to me just today and I'll bet you are probably in the same boat with me....here's a paddle....enjoy the ride.

What is it about our society that feeds this phenomenon?  Or, am I living in my own galaxy?  Is this a uniquely American trait?